Archive for Brooke Hogan
…OF THE DAY
- TODAY: You know that part in every modern movie set in the 60s where they briefly show a tv of JFK saying “Ask not what your country can do for you…” or the moon landing occurring or some cheesy, obvious way of indicating “Hey audience, here’s the significant moment of history that’s happening right now so you know what year this is set in” before then panning over to the movie characters arguing or doing whatever in their scene? All day, I kept thinking that this Obama Inauguration will be that moment in future movies that take place in 2009. Just a thought. (Digg)
- TOP MEDIC: Top Chef’s Tom Colicchio saved a choking food author’s life by giving him the Heimlich Maneuver. As soon as the man caught his breath and regained his color, Tom then ripped into his lamb shank for being underseasoned and repeatedly stressed that the quail egg on top was completely unnecessary. (Slashfood)
- COVER (YOUR EARS): Here’s fame-unrelenting human Brooke Hogan singing overtop Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You.” More like, “My Song Would Suck With You,” am I right??? High five. (ONTD)
- UPCOMING RAYMOND EPISODE: A new study suggests that women may have a more difficult time resisting their favorite foods than men do. Probably because the favorite food for most women is shopping, am I right people??? High five again. (Washington Post)
- BEST INTERVIEW EVER: And finally, Paul F. Tompkins talks to Gothamist about moving to New York, the new BWE format, and some really refreshing thoughts on his recent career. They cut out the part where he says “also, sharing an office with Dan Hopper is THE BEST,” but trust me, he yelled it to the interviewer multiple times. (Gothamist)
Brooke Hogan Goes Commando
As demonstrated here by Brooke — those Hogan kids sure are a pair of loose cannons.
See Also
Hulk Raises Terror Alert to Red
Hulk: Linda Burns More Money Than Bridges
XTC — Xtreme Florida Cougar…
While You Were Remembering the Genius of the Roseanne Halloween Specials
- Gwyneth Paltrow claims to be helping “best friend” Madonna through her difficult divorce. Though we’re not sure how speaking in a British accent and eating 400 calories a day is helping.
- In his new memoir, Eminem finally apologizes to Moby for harassing him at the 2002 MTV VMAs. Which leads me to ask: Eminem is still alive? I thought he was killed during last year’s East Coast West Coast (of the Mississippi) Rap Wars.
- YET ANOTHER REASON TO MISS THE GOOD OL’ DAYS OF HOLLYWOOD: Movie studios used to budget for cocaine… mostly for Tony Curtis, but still.
- Nick Hogan has been released from jail following a devastating drunk accident last summer. And in a related story, Brooke Hogan’s tramp stamp has been released from the back of her pants, following a devastating drunk accident last summer.
- Tom Cruise took his son Connor to a Tina Turner concert in Chicago, claiming to be a big fan. It’s nice to see those Proud Mary’s sticking together.
- FALSE ALURRM: Despite rumors, Jamie Lynn Spears is not actually pregnant with her second child. Meaning that her dreams of birthing America’s first all baby boy band before the age of 23 may be dashed. (TMZ)
- SAY YES TO THIS MESS: Howard Stern’s wife, Beth Ostrosky, wore a tasteful wedding gown to their ceremony this weekend, purchased at an exclusive Pretty Woman props sale. It’s like a monogowny. (People)
- NEWS YOU MIGHT CARE ABOUT: Joe Jonas has called it quits with country singer Taylor Swift. When asked what went wrong with the relationship, he responded “She was just… too… vagina-ey.” (Us Magazine)
- OLD SCHOOL SMACK DOWN: Lauren Bacall On Tom Cruise: “When you talk about a great actor, you’re not talking about Tom Cruise. His whole behaviour is so shocking. It’s inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but, I think, it’s kind of a sickness.” (Celebitchy)
- FUTURE HEADLINE PREDICTION: Lauren Bacall found dead on October 9, 2008. (Spit three times, but seriously…)
- SORRY FELLAS: Brooke Hogan has said NO to Playboy. You’re just gonna have to look at her breasts and ass courtesy of staged beach paparazzi photos and her famous Pantsless Pants, OK? (Hollyscoop)
…OF THE DAY
CAPTION THIS: I’m Gonna Miss You The Most, Brooke Hogan
You know those people who manage to effortlessly look so put together all the time? Like each little detail about them operates in perfect harmony with everything else, so it seems as if literally every fiber of their being has been woven together into a beautiful tapestry of perfection by the very hand of God? That’s how I feel about Brooke Hogan when I look at this picture. Looking this good really isn’t fair to the rest of us.
(via ONTD)
“Nice Tramp Stamp, Mom.” — Brooke Hogan
Ahh, The Hogans. We love to love em! They’re just so bleached and covered in Terry (the fabric and/or Hulk Hogan, as the case may be). And on this week’s very special episode of Brooke Knows Best (the most genius spin-off since A Different World), Brooke reveals that she’s in the market for a tattoo. When mother Linda suggests her daughter get a tattoo in the same place she has one — namely, above the crack of her ass — Brooke takes the time to tell her mother about the wild and wacky world of “tramp stamps.” Enjoy.
Next week, Linda learns the meaning of BOBFOC’s, a quimby, and “numpties”.
Brooke Hogan’s Guide To Voting And Living Your F-in Life
Brooke Hogan is really getting the hang of this Myspace Blog thing - she’s realizing this is the place where she can be “F-in REAL with people!” The other day she posted pictures showing us how funny she thinks violence against women can be, and today she’s using this prestigious platform to defend that whole “women shouldn’t be president” and “I don’t vote” conversation on her reality show:
Notice how i said “I know IIIIII couldn’t do it cause I’d be pms-ing and freaking out all the time” ….Honestly I’d LOVE to meet a woman with NO emotional problems….but thats not the point…but its true. LOL.”
Oh Brooke. You’re so right, because after reading that, I developed severe emotional problems…joining every other woman on the planet. There goes my dream for the White House. But that’s not the point…but it’s true. LOLTISCAD. (Laugh out loud ’til I suddenly choke and die.)
Second- Only 54 percent of eligible american voters cast their ballots!!!!!! Half of them are only voting cause its “cool ” to vote for so and so…they aren’t even up to date on information. I’M personally not up to date on the facts, so I don’t wanna make a stupid choice for our country. I WANT to vote but only when I know exactly whats going on. More ppl should think like that.
So what you’re saying is…If you don’t know about the issues and the candidates, and you can’t educate yourself about them because you’re too busy taking pictures of yourself dressed up like a tranny cokewhore who just got beat up by a pimp, then just DON’T VOTE. It’s beautiful in its simplicity, actually.
So what if voting is “cool” - Brooke isn’t going to follow a bunch of hipsters to the ballot box! She says so herself: “I’m just trying to make a difference and give you guys a refreshing change. A young woman who is a LEADER. NOT a follower.” Because doing NOTHING is the best way to inspire a generation of young people! Towards the end of her rant, Brooke changes direction and gives us a simple guide to living your life, in 12 easy steps. Here’s a truncated version:
Love
Trust
Never stick with a cheater.
Work Work Work.
Never feel negatively toward ANYONE.
Speak.
Be honest.
Live.
Pray.
Turn OFF the TV!!!!
Eat….everything.
……then do a bad ass workout.
I’m going to go ahead and suggest that AA forget their traditional 12-step program and opt for this one instead. I was particularly inspired by Step 8: “Live,” and Step 10: “Turn OFF the TV!” (Except when her show is on, of course.) You know Brooke, you may think you’re not emotionally stable enough to run for president, but with inspirational leadership skills like that, I have a feeling you’ve got politics in your future, little lady-giant!
(That was actually her list. I just took out her descriptions after each one. Read the entire thing here.)
Brooke Hogan Did Stuff. Here Are Some Monkeys!
Someone sent me this Brooke Hogan photo prank, in which the attempted singer took terrible photos of herself in an effort to ‘trick’ everyone into caring about her or something. I was going to write a post along the lines of “you realize none of us would care even if these were real because you’re Brooke Hogan,” but in the middle of writing it, someone else sent me these pictures of monkeys and polar bears eating frozen treats!
Whoa, chill out monkey, you’ll get to those oranges eventually!
Looks like this big guy could use a Coca-Cola! Am I right?? Dawwwww!!!!
What’s wrong, lil’ fella? Never saw A Monkey Christmas Story?? Relax!
What was I talking about again? Something about monkeys?
Brooke Hogan: Girl Got Beat!
Filed under: The Hogans
Brooke Hogan’s makeup has never looked better! The un-incarcerated, married or divorced Hogan just changed her MySpace photo to this. Looks like Brooke feels life behind bars with little brother Nick would be better than dealing with the shenanigans…
Brooke Hogan: Busty or Busted?
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, The Hogans
There is a very simple formula to figure out whether Brooke Hogan is looking good. Brooke Hogan — by herself — in a bikini on the beaches of Miami is good.Brooke, with her dad rubbing lotion on her backside, is bad. This one falls under category…