Archive for Barack Obama
While You Were Seducing ‘Prince’ Charles
- Barack Obama apologized for describing his bowling ability as “like the Special Olympics” during his Leno interview last night. He added “Those people are great athletes - I meant to say that I bowl like regular retards.”
- Fred Durst continues to talk about his relationship with Britney Spears in 2003. He also swears he and Molly Ringwald were a couple in the late-80s and that he definitely banged Sophia Loren in 1961.
- Joe Jonas slanty-eyed photo scandal! What did Asia ever do to these tween pop stars?
- Simon & Garfunkel are reuniting this spring for an international tour. Wait…why are they both speaking with New Zealand accents?
- Dane Cook’s half-brother and ex-manager was indicted by a Massachusetts grand jury for allegedly stealing millions of dollars from Cook. It’s bad enough that one dude got paid for Good Luck Chuck…
- Barack Obama re-took the Oath of Office yesterday because the Oath he stated on Tuesday was actually off from the Constitution by one word. Fortunately, Springsteen still hadn’t finished playing from the other day.
- The Oscar nominees were announced today. I never thought I’d hear this guy say “Eat a d*ck, Academy”…
- The stars from Sex and the City have officially committed to a sequel. I guess Kristin Davis will have to put off Shaggy Dog II: Shaggadelic, Baby ’til 2010.
- Yes, even Fidel Castro is praising Barack Obama. This comes just one day after Kim Jong-il sent Obama a “Congratulations” card with a $50 Bed Bath And Beyond gift certificate.
- George Clooney is heading back to ER to appear in the final shows of the series. Clooney initially denied reports that he was returning, but I guess he finally got over being intimidated by acting opposite John Stamos.
- It’s Obama’s first official day on the job, and in his first act as president, he has appointed Reverend Wright Emperor of Humankind. Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! THEY TRIED TO WARN USSSSS!!!!!!!!!
- Shia LaBeouf’s driver’s license has been suspended for one year after his accident in the summer of ‘08. His auto accident, I mean, not the thing with Harrison Ford.
- Jamal Woolard, the actor who plays Biggie in the Notorious biopic, has been charged with assaulting his wife. That’s totally uncalled for, dude — can’t you promote your movie the way other actors do, with a teeny little DUI arrest?
- London’s Evening Standard Newspaper has been sold to Alexander Lebedev, a Russian billionaire and ex-KGB agent. James Bond is currently in the “sleeping with Lebedev’s mistress” phase of taking this guy down.
- And finally, 8th grade me can’t stop snickering at this headline.
- PARTY AT THE BOB EVANS: Last night’s 60 Minutes Barack Obama interview scored the show’s highest ratings in more than nine years, dating back to a 1999 episode when the show aired four seconds of exclusive bootlegged footage from The Phantom Menace. (Variety)
- COVERS WORSE THAN AMERICAN PIE: This list of the 8 Worst Video Game Renditions of Popular Songs is really funny, but I can’t believe they left out Don’t Stop Believin from the Journey arcade game. (Gamepro, via Gorillamask)
- WHATEVS: The word “meh” has been added to the dictionary. No big deal. (Chicago Tribune)
- TIE FIGHTER: Congratulations, Philadelphia Eagles fans, your quarterback has been in the league for ten years and doesn’t know the rules of Pro Football! (Youtube)
- WHATTA SCOOP: And by far the most important story of today or any other day — Kim Kardashian may get engaged next year but probably not she’s not sure yet! (Us Weekly)
- Barack Obama is likely to be named Time’s Person of the Year. But SNL’s Seth Meyer brings up a good point, suggesting 2008’s Most Revered Lady Tina Fey for the honor instead. BWE’s choice? Joe Pesci (as is our choice every year.)
- DEAR SWEET LORD NO: Alvin and The Chipmunks is releasing a “Squeakuel“, where the Squirrels go to school and meet the Chipettes. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will likely play themselves.
- Very little things in this world please us more than the following anecdote where Robert DeNiro makes fun of Ben Stiller for having a small penis.
- WHERE MY SINGLE LADIES AT: I’m not gonna lie… the various games you can play over by spending “A Day As A Cat” at the Meow Mix website has easily made this my best Friday morning in decades. The sound effects alone have ensured that I won’t be having children for at least 20 more years.
- CBS has given John Mayer his own Variety Show… Here’s to hoping there’s a segment where he just makes love to a handful of ladies real slow while playing acoustic.
While You Were Sporting A Two-Hour Lost Nerdboner
Barack — If At First You Don’t Succeed …
Filed under: Prez Election 2008, Barack Obama
Barack Obama is the president of the United States. Finally. After flubbing his oath during yesterday’s inauguration — thanks, Chief Justice John Roberts — Obama retook the oath this afternoon at the White House. White House counsel Greg Craig said…
Did Barack and Michelle … You Know … Do It?
Filed under: Barack Obama
Be honest — you thought about it.He just became the most powerful man on the planet — but after one helluva long day and 10 inaugural balls, ya think President Obama and First Lady Michelle … uh, consummated the presidency?
Click here to live…
While You Were Hoping That Washington Nonsense Wouldn’t Pre-Empt Family Feud Again
Scalpers Rain On Obama’s Parade
Filed under: The Rich Life, Barack Obama
There was a time you could score some tickets to Obama’s inaugural parade for just $25-a-pop — but that was before the scalpers descended. Loads of the 5,000 available bleacher seat tickets are being re-sold for ten times their $25 dollar ticket…
Obama and Pickler — Total BFFs
Filed under: Paparazzi Video, Wacky & Weird, American Idol
“American Idol” alum Kellie Pickler got to take a picture with Barack Obama at the DC airport yesterday….We won’t tell her he’s made of cardboard if you don’t…
See Also
“Idol” Rewind: Kellie Pickler, Who?!…
Oprah to Obama: I’m Still Seeing Other People
Filed under: Oprah, Barack Obama
Oprah has just announced she will not take a position in Obama’s administration even if he asks — not that he’s asking or anything — but if he did, than she’d say no — most likely.Oprah gushed, “I have a few full-time jobs already and a few…
…OF THE DAY
While You Were Bowled Over By 30 Rock’s Other Celebrity Cameo, Harry Anderson
