Archive for Ashlee Simpson
Ashlee Simpon Goes Two-Pieces
Filed under: Ashlee Simpson, Paparazzi Photo, Stars In Heat, Hot Bodies, Hot Mamas, Beauty
Without the use of a backing track, former ” Melrose Place ” star Ashlee Simpson rocked a bikini in Hawaii this weekend. The 25-year-old mom has finally hit a high note all on her own.
Ashlee Simpson moves to ‘Melrose Place’
It’s hard to remember that the pop starlet once starred on “Seventh Heaven.”
While You Were Hoping American Idol Has Blind U-Turns
- Ashlee Simpson has been cast on the new reincarnation of Melrose Place. She’ll play “Julie“, the younger sister of a world famous singer who reconstructs her face and has a baby and stars on a remake of a 90s drama in an attempt to remain relevant.
- Octomom’s publicist has quit, declaring the fertile female as “nuts.” No word if he actually said “I quit” all 8 times.
- Britney Spears was spotted visiting sick children at a hospital in Miami. Imagine her surprise when she found Sean Preston and Jayden Jamesthere for “neglect.”
- Here is how you should start every week off: Watching Tori Spelling do “the potty dance.”
- Prince Harry reportedly took a comely blonde lass home with him this weekend at 3:15 in the morning. And if you thought your average “walk of shame” was bad, imagine having to do it past the Queen’s chambers. There is no tip-toe in history tippy or toe-y enough to accomplish that feat.
Ashlee — Backseat Driving Under the Influence?
Filed under: Ashlee Simpson, Drunks
With Bronx Mowgli at home, Ashlee Simpson hit up the Chateau with her hubby on Friday — and from the looks of it, it’s probably a good thing she took the backseat when they left.During her assisted walk to the ride, Ashlee claimed she “loved” the…
Ashlee’s Got Jessica’s Back
Filed under: Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson
Jessica Simpson’s sister has a big beef with everyone who’s calling Jess … big.The littler Simpson, Ashlee, writes on her blog she is “completely disgusted” by all the attention her sister got from those photos of her in high-waisted jeans and a…
Pete and Ashlee Give Away the Bronx
Filed under: Baby Watch
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?Apparently unable to hock their baby pics to the highest or even lowest bidder, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz posted pics of their bundle of joy online for free. Wentz had blogged earlier this month…
Bronx Mowgli Hates His Parents: Part #4,563
Oh Bronx. I’m so so so sorry about this. Your daddy told Sirius radio’s “Monday Mash Up” show that your mom’s breast milk tastes “weird” and “soury.” I know. That means Pete Wentz has been drinking Ashlee Simpson’s breast milk - and is telling people about it. It seems that Pete has had a touch of the di-di of the mouth as of late on the radio. Between this and his detailed description of what it’s like to bang his wife, I think someone needs to remind Pete that the internet listens to the radio. Because it will only be a matter of time before the kids at school google this crap and start with the “Breast Milky Wentz” nicknames and the “Bronx’s dad likes to drink from his mom’s boobs!” chants.
Bronx, when you reach the age of 16, give me a call. I’ll come over, we’ll talk, you’ll cry teenage man-boy tears, and then we’ll hug while I repeatedly tell you “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”
Wobbly Wentz Whores Out “Baby” Pics
Filed under: Baby Watch, Ashlee Simpson, John Mayer
Pete Wentz might want to get a paternity test — his baby looks a lot like John Mayer.All the magazines reportedly passed on the Bronx Mowgli Wentz baby pics — and we were given a real treat when an unsteady Pete decided to show us a photo on his…
While You Were Showing Brangelina Who’s Naked
- Jennifer Aniston showed her patriotism by wearing nothing but a red, white & blue tie on the cover of GQ. Brad is so not looking.
- The Gossip Girl spinoff is going to revolve around the story of young Lily and Rufus, so everybody just calm down - nobody is leaving GG. So basically it’s going to be That 90’s Show? I feel old.
- Ellen Degeneres is the newest easy breezy beautiful CoverGirl. I get it: if you want to not look like a ho and wear makeup that attracts the likes of Portia de Rossi, then CoverGirl is for you.
- A Chilean cardinal is complaining about Madonna, saying that her concert causes “crazy enthusiasm” and “impure thoughts.” We all know what happens when people get filled with “crazy enthusiasm”!!! (They have sex with the devil.)
- Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have been approaching all the magazines to try and sell first photos of Bronx Mowgli - but so far, there are no takers, except for Eyeliner Baby, Horrible Baby Names Monthly, and Attention Whore Weekly.
Ashlee Simpson — No Baby, No Problem
Filed under: Ashlee Simpson
For the second night in a row, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were out sans baby Bronx Mowgli. The kid is 20 days old … which means they’ve been without their baby more than 10% of the nights.
See Also
Ashlee: Rock-a-Bye Bye Baby…